Let me preface this post by saying that I am a Star Wars purist. I detest the heavy-handed editing George Lucas applied to the "specialized" and "remastered" editions of the original trilogy (Episodes IV, V & VI). Special effects are no longer special if they appear in every frame and, of course, Han shot first. No true fan will ever believe otherwise. It is what defines him as a scoundrel and creates a character who is destined for reconciliation.
I have recently had the [ahem] "privilege" of finally watching both of the new[er] Star Wars films, Episode VII (The Force Awakens) and "Rogue One, a Star Wars Story". Canonically-speaking, Rogue one is a fine film. It takes a few liberties being removed from both the original trilogy and, arguably, some of the most horrid films ever released, the prequels. Those liberties, however, are not significant departures from the story we all know and love, and each piece seems to feed us to the very beginning sequence of "Episode IV - A New Hope". We experience characters entrenched in desperation as the Imperial threat looms and expands, and we are introduced to the first key players in the original saga's opening.
Episode VII, however, is a complete and utter s**tfest. Aside from the handful of known and established elements (Leia Organa, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker) the film makes no effort to develop any of the other characters, even the main villain who (spoiler alert) turns out to be the son of Han and Leia, is a powerful Jedi, and has become evil for some reason.
I spent a full two hours in sheer WTF mode. Nothing makes sense. Somehow in the span of 30 years Han and Leia have had a kid who became an evil jedi, the former Empire has been reinvented under the "First Order" and some malevolent being known only as the "Supreme Leader", constructed a planet-sized weapon which just happens to have the controls for its deflector shields located in a broom closet instead of in the same room with all of the other important computer things, and Luke Skywalker has disappeared.
Some kid from (surprise!) another desert planet has the force flowing through her. A former stormtrooper has a conscience and also knows how to not only use a light saber, but wields it effectively the very first time he holds it in battle, despite having never seen one, nor even knowing what it is. Somehow Luke's ORIGINAL light saber (the one he got from Kenobi in IV and lost when his hand was cut off over Bespin) has found its way to the lair of a 1000 y.o. barkeep on the other side of the galaxy.
It is pure JJ Abrams dreck. The dialogue is clunky and forced. There are explosions in pretty much every scene. Remember, this is the same guy who made Bumblebee a Camaro. He has no respect for canon. Episode VII watches like a fan fiction written by someone who learned about Star Wars by watching The Ewoks on Saturday morning cartoons.
I want to follow the story, but there are more plot holes than in a block of swiss cheese. Episode VIII is already out and I just cannot fathom where this rambling, incoherent storyline is going to take us next. One thing is for sure, there will be lots of explosions and lots of unexplainable subtext. Thank God for FireTV.
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